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  • Writer's pictureJL Nash

A Hoover, Coffee, Two Books, A Helicopter Fan and Hair

What ho readers! Hubster arrives home tomorrow and I am already procrastinating cleaning up the house for him. I know he’ll do it again anyway as soon as he wakes up on Wednesday - he can’t help himself. But I have put the washing in and that’s a start.   I turned the fan onto super fast - helicopter mode so that all the dog (and my) hair will collect in the corners of the living room. Much easier to spot and clear up! It’s just physics.

I had a bit of a manic Monday - noticed that three of my dresses were getting bitty in the fabric so I decided to replace them. I went onto eBay - second hand Monsoon - always lovely - so I bid on one and then on another. Then a few hours later, forgetting that I had been on eBay I thought to myself - why don't I look for some more new dresses? I found two and bid on them.  Then a few hours later I thought - I just need to look at eBay for some second hand designer dresses - let’s see what I can find and yes, I found another two and I actually made offers on both of them.

I won them all.

Now I have to find more excuses to go out as I will be the proud owner of six more dresses (three more than I actually need) very soon. I won’t post them on here - you can see them on me in future photographs.

The dog has lost weight since the hubster has been away. Don’t worry - she’s not pining for him, she’s wanting his dinner scraps! I don't feed her scraps or ends of things.  What to do? I haven’t painted today - I’ve written a short story and wiggled around the house cleaning the odd thing off the odd surface here and there in an effort to look organised. Got a uke group meeting tomorrow and I need to practice my bass guitar. Neil got me a small sized bass guitar and of course he fixed it as it wasn’t in working order.  It is great fun to play and fits me perfectly.

Sent off a friend’s birthday present a few days ago - I always love doing that - because the feeling of the anticipation of something good is one of the best feelings. It’s almost better sometimes than the nice thing that happens.

Found the hairballs/piles. Cleaned up and binned it all.

Woweee - cleaning up is hard work - I’ve had to sit down and have a coffee. I have transferred everything from the table to the stairs. That was exhausting. Just saw someone win a facelift on TV. She’s younger than me - how grim.

The hoover has to come out at some point. Perhaps last thing tonight before I go to sleep. Perhaps tomorrow morning - no - I won’t leave it 'til the last day - the last time I did that I was taken into hospital with gall bladder complications as the hubster arrived in the driveway from the plane. I’ve learned my lesson - the day BEFORE he gets back is the time to tidy.

Reading two different books at the moment - Without Conscience by David Hare (Yes it’s about Psychopathy) and Louder Than Words by Joe Navarro- a body language book. Of course it’s mid afternoon and I still have the demo to record but those books look really enticing and the hoover is still under the staircase. I’ll leave the demo until night - no yipping dogs in the background from the neighbour which means the hoover has to be moved forward in the order of things to do. This cleaning and tidying business takes a lot of planning and thought doesn’t it? Oh I hear you laugh or you might be gasping in horror. Either way - as Quentin Crisp said

-There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

And he also said of dust… (and i paraphrase) If you leave the dusting, it doesn't get any thicker after three years.

I miss him, Quentin Crisp - like I’m going to miss Barry Humphries for that occasional spark of reality and schadenfreude on the television. Quentin Crisp is who Sting sang about in ENGLISHMAN IN NEW YORK. He was painted by some of the greats and was a gift in his time.

Two more of his quotes that jump out at me today are:

-Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

And on for my 19 year old nephew or perhaps it’s for my brother, his dad…

-The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

Who would want to be 19 again? Not me for sure.

Ok before I whinge on about teenagers and house cleaning anymore I will bid you ‘happy week’ and final words from Quentin Crisp

-Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.

If you saw the dresses you would realise I am not fashionable - I definitely march to the beat of my own drum. I must know who I am.

If you want to catch the late, inimitable Mr Crisp here is a link… why not set aside some time and watch you'll be roaring with laughter in no time at his intelligent wit.

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