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  • Writer's pictureJL Nash

Not Nice, Coins in Knickers and Krampus

Have you been Naughty or Nice?

Who wants to be nice? Nice. Nice. Nice? The word itself lacks power, lacks emotion and one of its meanings though time has been ‘boring’. I don’t want to be bored in life let alone be boring myself! I think Krampus should come and get all the kids who are NICE. If you’re not sure, let me reassure you that Krampus, the half-goat-devil-counterpart to Saint Nicholas is actually from pre Christian traditions and true to form, not only have we mixed up our history and traditions but we have bastardised meanings of traditions and customs. But… Krampus is coming back in fashion across Alpine Europe.  AAAAGH, I digress. Back to my original thought.. who wants to be NICE? It’s such an empty word so I’m here to offer you all alternative vocabulary, varied you should never need to use the word NICE ever again.

Let’s begin with polite, respectable, acceptable, proper, satisfactory and decent.

Now then, in my youth, the word ‘satisfactory’ upon a school report would insense my parents. It was seen as barely ok.  But …  I am here to defend the word satisfactory as being a good replacement for NICE.

We can even move to pleasant, delightful, delicious, enjoyable, sweet, pleasing, good, satisfying, welcome and pretty.

All of these words are 100% better than NICE.

I’m voting to abandon the word NICE in 2024.

I've got an image in mind of Saint Nick throwing coins into stockings hung out by the neighbour’s daughters. (Read your Saints History). That wasn’t a NICE gesture. I mean, on first glance it could seem quite suspect. What does a senior clergyman want with throwing money into virgins’ underwear? It was however, thoughtful to provide dowries to poor neighbour girls. It was considerate and generous. It was not a NICE thing to do.

Why oh why do we expect children to be NICE? Thank god I’ve not had any kids. I would be undermining every christmas tradition around.  I’d subvert children’s thinking and I’d require the following of them… to be adventurous, brave, experimental, kind, generous, thoughtful, charitable, selfless, giving and considerate.  NICE can bugger off. NICE is for Coca-cola adverts. In my take on the mixed bag of traditions we observe, Krampus would come and carry off everyone who is NICE for lacking substance.

So, Christmas is coming. St Nick will come to this house but there’s little ‘niceness’ (BLEUGH) here. STRONGER words live under this roof and our rewards are through mutual admiration for positive actions taken throughout the year. 

If I don't get back to blogging this year, may St Nick flick coins into your knickers and Krampus remove your obstacles.

Be kind to each other


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