JL Nash
What happens if you cross a chalice with an apple?
I know, both have the potential to be poisonous. I wonder whether you'd have infinite wisdom and longevity? I've clearly been reading too many antiquated stories recently. I've got a challeng ahead of me. There is a masterclass I'm thinking of going to - tonight. It's a masterclass for acting. I know it's the last thing I want to do, act, but it might give me some insight into character development. It's with that guy Jay Laga'aia, from Play School and other tv things. If I'd had a week to think about it I might have said no, but I've only got a few hours and it's catching me in an usually receptive mood.
Wrote a weird flash fiction this morning about anger and shame. Not sure if it's publishable yet. I completed the Quarter Crazy Poetry Marathon on Sunday. (12 hours of one poem per hour to a prompt). I'm pleased with ten of them as first drafts. They'll change in time but it's always lovely to have good drafts, they are my road map.
Still playing Mahjong on a regular basis. Still missing Nanna, of course. I have a phone alarm set to 7am. The time to call her. I can't bring myself to remove it even though she is no longer here so it rings me everyday except Sundays reminding me of a good time to chat with her, after she usually had been drinking a large glass of something or other alcoholic. Always in a good mood and always laughing together. Nearly every chat was filled with laughter, for years. I guess it all feels so close because last Sunday I discovered a friend has started palliative care and she said goodbye. A clever, fascinating, funny, kind woman. Although I've not known her too deeply, I was moved by her acceptance of her own end of life.
I'm afraid I'm more of a 'do not go gentle into that good night' kind of lass. I hope I will still be rage-raging 'against the dying of the light,' even when I'm old. As The Incredible String Band sang in the year of my birth, 'Each moment is different, from any before it, each moment is different, it is now'. I like the idea of the next moment being different with endless possibilities. It's like when I'm stuck in a story. I ask myself what next and I think of the most bizarre or whacky consequence possible. Life is like that. It's only predictable by choice. Like tonight, going to an acting workshop. That's a completely whacky consequence of an email I received this morning, and I will be completely out of my comfort zone. I could have chosen to stay at home, resting after work. But I'm filling these moments with memories and learnings.
Do you fancy reading a couple of my first drafts? You do? AWWW, Thanks. Here are two. Enjoy.
1 Frangipani
I’m in my mind again
It’s where I like to live
And I have the choice of two
Although there’s never really a choice
Just the realisation that I’m here again
The frangipanis on the trees are not white and yellow
But herald a splash of orange and pinks
We never know which colours will rise from the stumps
You plant around the gardens
Til they are there, here in view
You see me
Detached from reality
Trying so hard to be predictable
You never know which colours
I’ll be bringing forward
You work tirelessly to plant and nurture
I feel every inch the mulch around my toes
The dog dug me up
I have broken away from the garden
I’m in my mind again.
2. Ghost
You have a ghost
She said after she had seen a bag
Fall from the highest shelf
Where it had been
Squeezed in tight
I don’t mind
I said after brief consideration
Imagining it to be a muse
A herald of good fortune
A voice in my ear
It’s trapped
She said once I had finished
Talking not taking any notice
Of her face on the screen
Over there in South Carolina
How can you tell
I said not wanting to ridicule
The possibility I did not believe
In spectres or spirits
Especially not divined long distance
I can dowse your house
She said I know where
The water comes from
I can release that entity
So they will not become unhappy
An unhappy ghost
I said thinking all ghosts
Must surely be unhappy
To be stuck on this planet
After serving their time
It will spoil your opportunities
She said seriously
I can help it move on
To a happier place
From here, over Zoom.
Not wanting to offend
I said with some reluctance
We could meet in the following week
Where I would allow her to dowse
My house from a distance.
Well, hello
I said when a photograph
Edged itself off the shelf
Noting our fleeting friendship
Was due for a happy ending
I need a spirit level
I thought to myself
To measure the angles
The slope and the
Intentions of an unhappy ghost